Every New Mum Needs THIS List…
Whether this is your first baby or fifth, having a baby is not easy - I think every parent can agree with me on that one. But that doesn’t mean to say it can’t be enjoyable and made easier for you. By creating just this one list and sharing it with my family BEFORE our baby was born, it truly saved my sanity and meant I actually LOVED those first weeks at home with our newborn.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the delirious newborn days when you’re sleep deprived and still recovering from childbirth. You almost blink and they’re toddling around and you’re left thinking, what happened to that time? They’re equally the shortest and longest days of your life - they can feel blissfully euphoric one minute and never-endingly painful the next. Whether your pain is physical, emotional or both – we must remember you too have just been born and deserve the same amount of tenderness and kindness as your baby does (if not more!)
With the privilege of being a second-time mum, at around 37 weeks pregnant, I took myself back to those early days at home with our first and made a list. This list was my MAMMA’S MUSTS list that detailed all those little things I deprived myself of, unintentionally, that lead me to feeling ‘not like me’ on many days and like things were a bit out of control.
These were not huge things, just things that mattered to me. The kind of things I needed to do every day in order to still feel like me and like I had my shit together, basically. I dropped all the non-essential things like housework and just kept the bare minimum things that I needed for my sanity. Those things made my daily must list.
Your list will look different from mine, it’s important to be honest with yourself about what you need every day to make you feel like you still. No matter how big or small, ask yourself ‘If I do nothing else but feed and look after my baby all day (which is a super big deal and well done you Mamma!) what else is there I can do for me that will make it feel like a positive day for me?’
My list included:
- Drink a cup of tea / coffee whilst it’s still hot
- Have a shower & get dressed (even if its back into clean pyjamas!)
- Eat a decent meal up the table without holding the baby – if possible!
- Make the bed
- Get some fresh air, even if it’s just in the garden for a few minutes
What would be on your list?
For me, keeping this list in mind and sharing it with my family before our baby was born, made the world of a difference. It meant we were mindful of me and my recovery as well as caring for our newborn. A mother’s mental state will affect her whole family so if you’re going to spend time and energy on anything, looking at what your mamma’s musts would be is definitely a good place to start.
All your baby truly needs is you. It’s not selfish, it’s just realising that you matter too. I made this list and stuck to it this time around and I can safely say it was a totally different experience. I’m not saying I put me first, but I do make sure I say, ‘me too’.
You matter too, Mamma. Be mindful of your needs and get writing and sharing your Mamma’s Musts list with your family. Your future self will thank you!